Well, this is it. We leave Pigeon Forge tomorrow en route to Staunton, Virginia—our last stop before rolling up to my parents’ house.

The first 20 minutes were amazing, with Emerson enjoying the walk and Darwin finding dinosaurs and dragons in the structures.

Like any good wife, Wendy assisted with this task by snapping a photo of me holding Darwin as she cried, Odie peed, and Clark took a shit.

Seven months? Sounds great. Eighteen-foot trailer? Small, but it’d be alright. Three dogs? Mmmm, I dunno. Two toddlers? You’re crazy.

I got to climb a couple of ladders at a cliff’s edge, shimmy through narrow passages, and crawl through an 18-inch tunnel.

This place is a bargain—a beautiful, peaceful bargain with really nice fellow campers.

We waded through a shallow river with the kids and CeCe, schlepped a quarter mile through the sand, climbed a dune, and went sand sledding.

My favorite is a shot of all six of us with our “it’s been a hard winter” expressions. That was the intent, but we look like serial killers.

As we descended steep stairs into a narrow passage of the dimly-lit cave, Darwin began crying. “It’s okay,” we told her. “You can do it.”

We did a lot of chores and a little exploring during our stay. We accidentally chose a cold, rainy day to walk around Jenny Lake.

By all accounts, it was time to go. But as we rolled out, part of me wasn’t quite ready to leave. Yellowstone is my new favorite.

Today is Emerson’s second birthday. Darwin is convinced it’s hers, but maybe she just wants a do-over.

Glacier is neck-and-neck with Mt. Rainier for the most beautiful national park we’ve visited so far.

There's a taoist quote that goes “A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.”

"It’s 50 minutes from your campground," he’d said, "and a nice place for a picnic." Riiiiiiiight.

“Nolan!” The man’s voice carried throughout the campground. Wendy and I stopped to listen. “NOLAN! Has anyone seen a little boy?"

The natural beauty of Mt. Rainier National Park rivals Yosemite, with forested valleys, glacial rivers, snow-capped mountains.

Wendy gasped and my eyes widened as we pulled in and saw CeCe’s head sticking out our trailer window.

When I mentioned my wife, Paulette asked in a deep southern drawl “So y'all lesbians then?”

We crept farther into the darkness, following the footsteps of people who had actually planned their trip to this toddler torture chamber.